What Is Bitterness?

 

By Dorcas Moyo

Today, I want to talk about bitterness.

What is bitterness?

Bitterness is a deep-seated anger that takes root in many people’s hearts. It stems from past hurts and is like a seed planted in your heart that grows and festers. It can make you feel like the pain you experienced is unforgivable.

People who are bitter often struggle to accept advice from others. They carry the weight of their past wounds, which causes them to judge everything and everyone based on those painful experiences. A bitter person may even avoid trying new things because they fear being hurt again. But bitterness doesn't just affect you — it impacts everyone around you. Hebrews 12:15 reminds us, "See to it that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many."

Many of us have been hurt in past relationships or marriages, which leads to bitterness. Sometimes we bring the pain of previous experiences into new situations, clouding our judgment and preventing us from recognizing the good things that come our way. Bitterness can cause you to miss out on opportunities or relationships because you're too focused on past hurts. The right person or opportunity may come into your life, but bitterness makes it difficult to recognize them. For example, a true business partner might come into your life, but because of your bitterness, you may overlook or dismiss them.

Even a spouse you live with can trigger bitterness if past wrongs haven't been forgiven. If a painful event happened years ago, you may carry that hurt with you and relive it as if it happened yesterday. For women, forgiveness is not just an option—it’s a requirement. As Christians, we are commanded to forgive. This is the first step in releasing bitterness. When you understand that Abel is not Paul, you can find peace. A bitter heart will never know peace. Colossians 3:13 encourages us, “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Forgiveness is essential!

One thing I’ve realized about bitterness is that it hinders our prayers and can delay our destiny. A bitter person’s life tends to go in circles, unable to progress. A business does not grow when the owner is filled with bitterness. Ephesians 4:31 says, "Get rid of all bitterness."

My brothers and sisters, we are God's vessels. He wants to use us in His kingdom, but often, we are full—full of bitterness, anger, and hurt. Just like an empty cup can be filled, our hearts need to be emptied so God can pour into them. Similarly, a plane cannot land until it is in the correct position; it will continue to circle in the air. Heaven is ready to pour out spiritual gifts, but the vessels (our hearts) are too full of bitterness to receive them. We have a calling in God’s house, and among us are teachers, preachers, intercessors, and worshippers. However, our destinies are delayed because of bitterness.

Whatever you are going through, surrender it to God. The burden is not yours to bear—give it to the one who can carry it, Jesus Christ.

Start by forgiving today, and God will forgive you too. Be a person of prayer. When you learn to speak to God, especially in times of trouble, you will experience a life free of bitterness.

God bless you all.